Dear New Mama

I was texting a friend earlier this week who is due with her first baby in a couple of months. Like all new mama's, we were talking about the hesitations you feel about birth, feeling prepared (or should I say, not prepared), and what products work the best for that new little bundle of joy.

I remember feeling terrified about birth (life hack: do NOT watch videos of natural birth while you are pregnant). When the doctor decided that 4 days after my due date that I needed to be induced, I cried. I was so excited to meet my baby boy, and yet so scared of the steps I knew I had to take to see his little face.

I was scared because several of my friend's had recently given birth to still born babies. I was scared because my pregnancy before Griffin I had miscarried, and I was terrified I might lose him too. I was scared because the most physical pain I had endured before giving birth was a broken bone. I was scared because I am a planner, and child birth is not something you can not control.

Something beautiful happened in the midst of all that fear. My body took over. I felt my muscles contracting, pushing my baby closer and closer to his exit. I starting working with my body instead of against it. I realized that my body was created to do this work, and my job was to mentally partner with it.

Instead of fighting my fears, I pushed in to them quite literally. Realizing that yes, this experience is physically painful, but the joy and beauty awaiting me on the other side makes it so worth it. There is a little life lesson in there. Push in to the pain to get to the beauty. Playing in to my fear was only slowing down the process, which is true in all situations of life.

Griffin was born at 2:11 p.m. on 2/2/16. I locked eyes with that beautiful boy and burst in to tears. All of the fears I had were gone. I could breath, and my heart was overflowing. Abundant joy. I realized that my heart was perfectly made to love that little one.

Dear New Mama,

You've got this. Push past that fear and embrace the beauty that lies just beyond. You CAN do this.

-Kim